Heartbreak Is:

Waiting anxiously for weeks for DVD ordered through the BPL to arrive, only to discover it is scratched so badly that, save tantalizing 2 minute snippets, it's completely unwatchable. 

What makes this already tragic situation even more heartbreaking is the DVD in question, Regency House Party, is one I have waited ANXIOUSLY to see for eons. I mean, truly, it combines a) reality TV dating shows, b) the PBS "house" series (which I would volunteer for in an eyeblink, p.s., I don't care how miserable it looks), and c) Courtship in Regency England-- could there be anything more glorious? 

Woe truly is I today. 

Snooze Button Dreams

This morning, between snoozes (when I have my only vivid dreams), I had two that were somewhat revealing. First, as myself, I dreamed that I was getting a drink at Doyle's and had a guy I had absolutely no interest in try to start a conversation with me about the stuff I had scribbled on my hands. I had something about Dunkin' Donuts written on the back of my right hand, and he said "Oh, they have Dunkin' Donuts here? I didn't know they had them on the East Coast (which even in my dream I thought was weird and stupid, because you can't go two feet without seeing a Dunkies here) and then he asked me for my number. I gave him a fake one and ran away so fast that I nearly lost a flip-flop down a subway grate.

In my second dream, I dreamed I was a completely different person (i.e. actually someone other than myself as opposed to actually myself, but completely different from how I currently am), that the person-I-was-but-am-not worked in publishing in New York. The person-I-am-not had no trouble picking up a cute guy she was interested in after bumping into him in the completely imaginary Harper Collins coffee shop.

The meaning of all this is, of course, completely evident: even in my wildest snooze-button dreams, I don't believe I'm capable of attracting guys I'd actually be interested in. Yikes.

Well, if Anna's posting again..

Then I really have no excuse to leave my blog dormant any longer. Not that I really had one before. The last month has been spent in equal parts deep, blissful sloth (as the new Recently Read and Recently Viewed lists screen left indicate), domestic strife (fully expected considering the Mater, but distressing nonetheless), and gnawing fear and sadness (what with the graduating and all).

The reading, sleeping, movie-watching, beer drinking, karoke singing, and other various and sundry activities I've been pursuing since coming home have helped to lessen the pain of leaving Kenyon behind, as have my wonderful Boston friends and my mom... at least, on her sunny mood days. However, there's a persistent blue undertone to my mood that I just can't shake-- Kenyon was a one-of-a-kind place, and one uniquely suited to me. I can't imagine I will ever find a group of friends I'm more loathe to leave behind-- they just aren't the kind of group you find twice. I know there's more out there, and I know it's not as though I'm *actually* losing that group, but email is one thing, and walking 4 minutes to gossip is another.

I hadn't expected this post to be so blue, but I guess that what comes of writing blog entries late at night. If the girls from sobre todo (or any other Kenyonites) are reading this, please know I'm thinking of you, and that I miss you like an amputated limb.

I promise the next entry will be more prompt and more cheerful.